Death Valley and Me (2)

So, I found the following email from 1/21/2013 -- interesting to read it again. (Also, pictures from this trip are attached.  By the way, the blue color on the 2nd picture got distorted by this blog website).

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If you ever need a soul-cleansing, come to Death Valley.  I just spent the past 3 days here, and once again, it felt great!!!  The scarey truth is, I might be falling in love with this place...  Remember I told you last time that my hotel room did not have a TV or Internet or cell signals?  I paid special attention this time, it didn't have a clock either.  So, once you are in Death Valley, you are in this spaceless and timeless world filled with massive nothingness! 

When I checked into the hotel, I asked the receptionist: "What's wrong with your phone line?  I've been trying to call you guys over the past week to confirm my hotel reservation and it couldn't get through..."  The receptionist replied: "Well, AT&T forgot that we are here, so they cut off the phone lines.  We didn't know until one of our customers came here and told us."  "Wow, so how do you communicate with the outside world??"  "We DON'T!!!"  This simple reply reminded me of the story below.  True, when you think about it, why do they NEED to communicate with the outside world if they can live a perfectly peaceful life with nothingness??

An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked.  Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna.  The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.  

The Mexican replied, "only a little while." The American then asked why didn't he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs. 

The American then asked, "but what do you do with the rest of your time?"  The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siestas with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine, and play guitar with my amigos.  I have a full and busy life." 

The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat.  With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery.  You would control the product, processing, and distribution.  You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually New York City, where you will run your expanding enterprise."  

The Mexican fisherman asked, "But, how long will this all take?"  To which the American replied, "15 - 20 years."  "But what then?" Asked the Mexican.  The American laughed and said, "That's the best part.  When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions!"

"Millions - then what?"

The American said, "Then you would retire.  Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siestas with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos."

Death Valley and Me

Death Valley has been wonderful to me over the long weekend.  Thinking back, this is the 4th time I’ve been there over the past 3 years.  Never once has she failed to show me her unique beauty or to offer me the solitude I desire.  I am still deeply in love with her.

As always, the sand dunes, salt flats, and thousands of acres of desert land lay silently in front of me.  However, each time, they surprise me with their ever-changing shapes – it amazes me (or scares me) what stillness can do to this massive piece of land!  The usual neatly lined up light-gray salt flats are now all in dark brown with violent shapes.  The endlessly open Panamint Valley has thousands of little volcanic rocks spreading around…  Where did they come from???  “It must be winds that brought them here,” I said to myself…  They just lay around randomly and quietly, all over the playa, small but strong and solid!  Even when I touched a very small piece of rock, it sticks firmly to the playa – they have bonded tightly together to endure strong winds, dark nights, hot summers and icy winters…    

There is really NOTHING in Panamint Valley.  But it’s the nothingness that attracts me here every time when I come to Death Valley.  The relationship between me and the world of total emptiness is very difficult to describe.  The silent surrounding is overwhelming – it brings such purity that you may never find elsewhere.  The contrast of BIG and SMALL is best illustrated in my relationship with Panamint Valley.  On this trip, I literally sat in the middle of the playa and meditated for about 50 minutes – just me, the soft wind, the warm sun and the never-ending quietness – amazing!

Yes, I brought all my camera gears; I took a few pictures; I got up early and went to bed late; and I also discovered new features of this magical place…  However, the special connections I have with Death Valley can never be accurately recorded by my photos.

Death Valley National Park

California

January 17-18, 2015

Polar Vortex 2015

Downtown Chicago
January 10, 2015

Wind chill reached -33F on 1/7/2015

Letter to Grandpa

December 22, 2014

 

Dear Grandpa,

Merry Christmas! I hope you’re doing well. I’m thinking of you and wishing you health and happiness.

I have been so very busy this year! Clinical rotations started in June, and since then I have been working 9-14 hours a day, sometimes up to 6 days a week. I am in the hospital working with the doctors, seeing patients, on my way to learning how to be a real doctor… This year, I have really come to realize how happy I am to have chosen this field because it is not only rewarding, but also challenging to my mind and to my soul. I have seen enough patients now to understand just how difficult medicine can be, and the range of emotions that you can feel for a patient. I think for some people, this is scary, but for me, it reiterates the fact that I have chosen a profession that will impact me just as much as I impact it. I have a list of the names of every single patient who has affected me in some special way, in the hopes that I will always remember them and the special interactions that I had. One time, we had a young patient whose lung collapsed, which can be very common for young, tall men. He needed to have surgery to prevent this from happening again. He was a professional dancer, so thinking about having surgery on his lungs was terrifying to him – he thought that he might never be able to dance again. He started crying in front of the team, including the surgeon and the resident and myself and another student… the surgeon didn’t say anything particularly comforting and then started heading out of the room. It did not seem particularly right to me to leave this patient scared and crying, so I stayed behind to say to him that I completely understood how scary this could be, to be completely healthy at the age of 25 and then all of a sudden be told that he needed to have surgery on his lungs, but that this did not mean the end of his career, or the end of his life as he knew it – it was a very common and very safe procedure that the surgeons performed at least a couple times every week, he would heal up from it quickly and it would be no big deal. The patient was very thankful for that brief interaction. He was in the hospital for about another week after that, and every time I went into his room to check on him, he was happy to see me. When something like that happens, I know that I have definitely, 100% made the right decision. I have never been more excited for my future career!

Even in the midst of all this work, I have been having a great time this year. This fall was beautiful in Boston and the surrounding areas, and I would often drive up to New Hampshire to go hike in the mountains or just get away from the city for a little bit. My friends and I would go apple picking and take great pictures with the gorgeous fall foliage. I have really bonded with the friends that I live with, and it saddens me to think that in just one year, we will all be graduating medical school (can you believe it?!) and going to different places to live out the rest of our lives… but I feel that I have made some real lifelong friends in medical school, and that is quite special. I have been focusing very much on doing well in school, and sometimes this can be very challenging and all-consuming, but I think that it is important to realize that what will really matter in the end is the relationships that we have formed with other human beings, and how much effort we have put into them…

                 

I still think of you all the time and wonder how you’re doing. I still think back on the days when you would take me around everywhere on the front of your bicycle. I miss you every day, and want nothing more than for you to find peace and harmony inside yourself. I love you very much.

Sincerely,

A Bao

Happy New Year: 2015!

Dear Chelle-chelle,

Remember I used to write you a long letter every New Year's Eve?  Haven't done it for the past few years only because I think you have become a mature, level-headed person and you don't need Mama to tell you anything anymore...

Since you are leaving home tomorrow, and because we had such a great time together, I feel the need to write you a few words for you to keep:

1.  We love you deeply and will always be here for you.

2.  Take care of your health and safety, for yourself and for us.  Establish healthy lifestyles without damaging your body or your long-term health and well-being.

3.  Learn to deal with and manage many tedious but necessary details in life, especially when it comes to various paperwork.  Pay attention to instructions and directions and follow them rigorously to get things done properly.

4.  Learn to put down your phone for a certain period of time each day and try to live your life by being fully present.  It is actually a mental discipline that you should practice for the rest of your life.

5.  Whenever possible, start practicing meditation.  It will definitely help you focus, think clearly and manage stress.

6.  Keep your life SIMPLE -- simplify your possessions AND routines in life.  Simplicity is a magical tool to help you focus on the most important things. 

7.  Study hard and continue to grow into a better person.  Do the best you can on every task for everything.  

Love,

Mom

Humans of New York

As always, my little Michelle bought me this thoughtful and tasteful gift for Christmas...  It's a book by Brandon Stanton who got his first camera in early 2010, dropped his "bond trader" job in July 2010 and became a full-time photographer in the summer of 2010.  Over the next 3 years, he covered thousands of miles by foot in New York and created a photographic census of NYC.  In October 2013, he published the book "Humans of New York."  Such an inspiring story of a guy who sucked at photography at first, but eventually became a successful photographer by following his passion and determination.    

When you think about it, it's not about me having a book, it's about the book letting me see possibilities in life...  Pretty awesome stuff!!

 

Humans of New York

By Brandon Stanton

Introduction:

I got my first camera in January 2010.  I was working as a bond trader, so I only had time to use it on weekends, but I fell in love with it.  Every Saturday and Sunday, I'd take my camera into downtown Chicago and photograph everything.  If I found something especially beautiful, I'd photograph it from 20 different angles -- just to be sure that I'd end up with one good shot.  I'd return home each night with over 1,000 new photos.  Almost all of them were awful, but I didn't mind.  I was hooked.  Photography felt like a treasure hunt, and even though I sucked at it, I'd occasionally stumble upon a diamond.  And that was enough to keep me wanting more... 

Here is the first photo in the book.  It reads: "I am just trying to figure out what I want to do, 'cause it ain't this!"

I'm not sure if I felt inspired or ashamed... The truth is, I started my photography journey in February 2010, and I am still sitting here -- without a book!  But trust me, some day, I will have my own book -:))

My Friend Bill (2)

It's been almost 18 months since I posted "My Friend Bill."  It was indeed a memorable event (that birthday party after the shocking news), and I've made every effort to schedule time to visit Bill every 2-3 months over the past 18 months...  It's really hard to explain, but I am glad I did it and I am determined to continue to do so.

I went to visit Bill again today.  Against all odds, he is still doing great, as he has been for the past 18 months.  I told him that he is a living miracle to survive the pancreatic cancer, and I am just so happy to see him being healthy and well.  I can tell you this -- his recovery has everything to do with his high spirit and the current stress-free life style.

He reflected on how he felt when he first got the diagnosis and how he went through treatments worrying about his family...  When you think about it, the chance of surviving an inoperable pancreatic cancer is pretty slim, and he is so lucky to be one of the very few survivors.  Life is indeed fragile and unpredictable.  We just need to cherish every moment we have and live it fully.  

Live the life we love and love the life we live!!