Letter to Grandpa

December 22, 2014

 

Dear Grandpa,

Merry Christmas! I hope you’re doing well. I’m thinking of you and wishing you health and happiness.

I have been so very busy this year! Clinical rotations started in June, and since then I have been working 9-14 hours a day, sometimes up to 6 days a week. I am in the hospital working with the doctors, seeing patients, on my way to learning how to be a real doctor… This year, I have really come to realize how happy I am to have chosen this field because it is not only rewarding, but also challenging to my mind and to my soul. I have seen enough patients now to understand just how difficult medicine can be, and the range of emotions that you can feel for a patient. I think for some people, this is scary, but for me, it reiterates the fact that I have chosen a profession that will impact me just as much as I impact it. I have a list of the names of every single patient who has affected me in some special way, in the hopes that I will always remember them and the special interactions that I had. One time, we had a young patient whose lung collapsed, which can be very common for young, tall men. He needed to have surgery to prevent this from happening again. He was a professional dancer, so thinking about having surgery on his lungs was terrifying to him – he thought that he might never be able to dance again. He started crying in front of the team, including the surgeon and the resident and myself and another student… the surgeon didn’t say anything particularly comforting and then started heading out of the room. It did not seem particularly right to me to leave this patient scared and crying, so I stayed behind to say to him that I completely understood how scary this could be, to be completely healthy at the age of 25 and then all of a sudden be told that he needed to have surgery on his lungs, but that this did not mean the end of his career, or the end of his life as he knew it – it was a very common and very safe procedure that the surgeons performed at least a couple times every week, he would heal up from it quickly and it would be no big deal. The patient was very thankful for that brief interaction. He was in the hospital for about another week after that, and every time I went into his room to check on him, he was happy to see me. When something like that happens, I know that I have definitely, 100% made the right decision. I have never been more excited for my future career!

Even in the midst of all this work, I have been having a great time this year. This fall was beautiful in Boston and the surrounding areas, and I would often drive up to New Hampshire to go hike in the mountains or just get away from the city for a little bit. My friends and I would go apple picking and take great pictures with the gorgeous fall foliage. I have really bonded with the friends that I live with, and it saddens me to think that in just one year, we will all be graduating medical school (can you believe it?!) and going to different places to live out the rest of our lives… but I feel that I have made some real lifelong friends in medical school, and that is quite special. I have been focusing very much on doing well in school, and sometimes this can be very challenging and all-consuming, but I think that it is important to realize that what will really matter in the end is the relationships that we have formed with other human beings, and how much effort we have put into them…

                 

I still think of you all the time and wonder how you’re doing. I still think back on the days when you would take me around everywhere on the front of your bicycle. I miss you every day, and want nothing more than for you to find peace and harmony inside yourself. I love you very much.

Sincerely,

A Bao