秋晨婉歌

Naperville, IL
October 21, 2018

 

Morning Mist

It's that time of the year again -- a shred of chilly wind and a layer of foggy air greets you early in the morning...  The rest of your world is golden, is red, is filled with the most vibrant and beautiful colors!

My greetings back: "岁月, 你好!"

Naperville, IL
October 14, 2018

Chinese Moon Festival

I came to the United States 30 years ago, on September 19, 1988. For that year, the Chinese Moon Festival was on September 24th, which was the same as this year. I still vividly remember that day - my professor took me to the lake front in Wilmette, IL to see the full moon... Wow, 三十年弹指一挥间! I wasn't able to capture the perfect full moon 30 years ago, but did take this photo yesterday!

Lake Michigan
September 23, 2018

 

天上人间的记忆与祝福

六头，

你匆匆而去，给我，给我们每人心中留下一片难以填补的空白。让人切切感受到人生中时而无法回避的天上人间两渺茫的境地...

你曾经带给我们的是纯洁的友情、无尽的宽容、默默的关爱；是难以相比的智慧和大气。她让我们心灵的一角充满着阳光与温馨。我永远不会忘记我们在校园共度七载的日日夜夜；我们在沙漠中的奔跑；在胡杨林下的漫步；在绵山天边的微笑；在崇礼田畔伴着夕阳的歌…

你走了，去了一个绝美无暇的世界！在我们相识三十七年后的今天，命运和因缘却让我们天上人间两相隔。想来难免令人伤感，但伤感和遗憾在你我的世界里是不存在的。我们的世界只有应接不暇的新奇, 探寻不尽的未知, 爬不完的山, 趟不完的河, 道不尽的欢声笑语!

六头，尽管你无数次地嘱咐我不要到处乱跑，我却深知你珍视我带回来的每一张照片！冰岛的瀑布让你感叹；死谷的星空让你无语；南极的大冰川让你震惊；南极的小企鹅让你微笑… 因为你的离去，我决心要涉足更多的远方 - 去北极、去非洲、去南美、去北欧、去夏威夷看火山、去加拿大看极光、去新疆、去西藏、去清迈、去日本最纯净的佛堂代你烧一柱香… 我会把所有神奇、玄妙、美丽无边的山山水水拍下来，编成动人的故事讲给你听。

是，今后的路还很长。岁月或许蹉跎，但人生必须精彩！我们虽是天各一方，但我们天上人间的世界里都会永远充满欢笑、鲜花、阳光和温暖。

六头，谢谢你伴我们在人生旅途中走过了难忘的一程；谢谢你为我们留下的珍美记忆；谢谢你在静默中为我们付出的一切一切...

带着我们对你的厚爱和祝福，一路走好！

汤培

My Inspiration

The past 20 days have been horrendous.  It showed me, once again, how fragile life can be and how small the gap is between life and death...  And yet, I managed to find my inspiration toward the end of this incredible trip.

One early morning, I met this 98 years old man on Chang An Street in downtown Beijing.  He retired at age 60 and has been learning and practicing Chinese Brush Writing for 38 years.  For the past 20 years, he has been coming to this location every morning (except for cold winter or rainy days) to write Chinese poems on the ground with a large brush filled with water.  At age 98, he has memorized many, many poems, and he can write for days without duplicating them.  Every morning, he would ride his little scooter from home to here and spend over an hour writing on the street.  He brings a small music box with him every day, and it plays classic Chinese music the entire time while writing.

At age 98, his mind is sharp, voice strong, and steps steady.  He tells me that when he gets home, he would continue his brush writing on paper for the rest of the morning.  He was a farmer for all his life and did not know anything about traditional Chinese brush writing until he retired at age 60.  He has been persistently learning and practicing the brush writing techniques for the past 38 years, and along the way, memorized hundreds of Chinese poems!   

His daily routine is very simple.  Getting up at 4am.  Drinking tea for 2 hours followed by a small breakfast.  Then taking his trip to Chang An Street (where I met him).  Staying here for over an hour, then going back home around 10am.  He continues writing until lunch time.  One hour nap after lunch.  Watching TV or spending time with his grandchildren in the afternoon...  At age 98, he learned how to use his cell phone to take pictures AND send photos to his big family group through social media - WOW!!

His brother is 103 this year, and they are both living a long, healthy and happy life!

Beijing, China
August 21, 2018

 

40 years ago...

I often wonder if Michelle would eventually appreciate everything that I have carefully organized and saved for her -- all the funny pictures she drew, cute notes she wrote, school projects she completed, etc.  I think I find the answer today!

After many years, today, I finally made the time to open one of the large envelops my father put together for me.  In it, all the awards I received from schools in China -- first grade through high school.  Yeah, life was quite simple back then, it didn't take much to reward those poor, hard working little kids...

As an award, we used to get a piece of hand-written paper in the middle of the school year, and then a "nicer" piece of paper at the end of the school year.  It was pretty competitive to get the award among 50+ fellow poor little kids in the same class.  And believe it or not, I managed to bring at least 2 pieces of paper home each year!!

It's hard to describe how I felt when I saw these school records this morning.  They were well organized and carefully stabled together, by year, without any error -- I said "Thank you Dad" from my deepest hearts. 

By the way, the lines in the first picture are not aligned horizontally (they drive me crazy).  It's not because I didn't scan it correctly, but because it was written that way.  40 years ago, it took me a lot of effort to get this piece of poorly aligned paper -- as the reward of my hard work for 6 months!! 

I remember being soooo shocked when I saw Michelle's first beautiful trophy for doing nothing -:))  

Dr. Michelle's Personal Statement

One more Personal Statement, and this time, it’s for her Fellowship application (for Pulmonary Critical Care).  She will complete her residency and start the fellowship program in June 2019.

I have always enjoyed asking questions, from abstract to practical, metaphysical to scientific, straightforward to unanswerable. In college, I loved studying philosophy because it challenged me to tackle seemingly impossible questions using a rigorous logical process. It trained me to think critically about data, deduction, and the means by which we arrive at conclusions. I carried this love of contemplation with me into medicine: I still seek out the places where questions are the most difficult, and for me, this is the intensive care unit. In many ways, the tasks of an intensivist – sifting through a wealth of data to extract relevant information, making cogent arguments for and against diagnoses, and deducing a coherent representation of the patient – are reminiscent of tasks in philosophical thought. These aspects of critical care led to my love of clinical ICU medicine, but as I’ve become more invested in clinical care, I’ve also become increasingly aware of the limits of what we can provide for our patients. Oftentimes, while taking care of the sickest patients, I found that I had more questions than answers. Through that process, I learned that one of the most empowering roles of being a physician is having the unique ability to take these questions from the bedside to the bench, and actually set out to find solutions.

As an intern, I saw a Vietnamese patient in the emergency department who had a history of lung adenocarcinoma, which he believed to have been completely treated in his home country. His physical exam revealed multiple bony masses suspicious for widespread metastasis, and I explained to him my fear that his cancer had progressed. He expressed that even if this were the case, he was certain that we would be able to heal him. I saw him again two months later in the ICU for respiratory failure, and within 24 hours, he had passed away from complications of his cancer. He had trusted us to have the means to cure his condition, and this made painfully clear to me the fact that our current lung cancer treatments remain inadequate. This experience brought new meaning to my research in the lab, which focuses on pro-neoplastic and anti-neoplastic factors in lung adenocarcinoma. I have completed several projects independently using techniques including gene knockdown, cell proliferation assays, immunohistochemistry, protein electrophoresis, and RNA analysis. Currently, I am working on elucidating the connection between exercise and lung cancer on a molecular basis through investigation of myokines, which I have shown to decrease proliferation of lung cancer cells in vitro. My time in the lab has taught me how to engage with basic science, from developing hypotheses based on existing evidence, to designing, troubleshooting, and executing experiments, to presenting my findings at national conferences in a way that emphasizes their impact to the scientific community. Bench science has the ability to decode disease processes on a cellular level and subsequently guide translational research to develop new therapeutics that might someday help patients like mine. It has the potential to significantly broaden the impact that we have on our patients, and this is why I hope to continue pursuing it as a part of my career.

Outside of the lab, I developed a quality improvement project to increase use of targeted temperature management (TTM) following cardiac arrest in our hospital. One of my first patients in the ICU was a young woman who had suffered a cardiac arrest during a procedure and subsequently developed diffuse anoxic brain injury and herniation, resulting in brain death. During our time taking care of her, there had been no discussion about neuroprotective measures. This precipitated the question: was there something that I could affect on a systems level in order to prevent this from happening in the future? In response, I developed a quality improvement project where I designed and completed a retrospective analysis of in-hospital cardiac arrests at our institution, which demonstrated a poor rate of TTM implementation. I worked in collaboration with neurology, cardiology, critical care, and nursing to develop interventions for improvement, including incorporation of a neuroprotection lecture in our ICU didactics. My project was well-received by program leadership and became a core quality improvement project for junior residents, and I collaborated with a chief resident to create a morbidity and mortality conference centered around my data. I will continue this project as a mentor for rising junior residents with the goal of standardizing post-cardiac arrest neuroprotection and prognostication for our patients. As this project has unfolded, I have gained an appreciation for how the moments in which we feel helpless as clinicians can catalyze meaningful change, and in this way, become empowering rather than disheartening.

Intellectual curiosity has always been an integral part of the way that I interact with the world. In medicine, this has manifested itself as a deep appreciation for the complexity of pulmonary pathophysiology and critical care. It has also led me to a number of research experiences, which have taught me that efforts toward discovery and innovation are absolutely essential to the delivery of optimal patient care. Going forward, I am looking for a program that will prepare me for a successful academic career involving basic and translational work in pulmonary disease. I hope to find a program that will encourage me to ask the right questions, and strong mentorship that will help me turn those questions into meaningful research endeavors.