Dear
Dad,
I meant to write this letter to you some time much later... However, as I
reflect deeper on life, I've decided to write it today so you can read it when
I am back to China. I want you to read this letter while your mind is
still sharp, because I want you to know how much I love you and how much I
appreciate everything you've done for me.
Like most of the typical fathers in China in the 1970s, you were not deeply
involved in my day-to-day life. However, I vividly remember a few things
from my childhood:
1. Since I was very little, you had been very strict about how I should
hold chopsticks properly. I remember that, for a period of time, at the
dinner table, you would correct my way of holding chopsticks each and every
time I did it wrong. You may not remember it now, but it's amazing how
small things like this could make its way to my deepest memories.
2. Throughout my childhood, I learned first-hand how much you loved
photography. Every winter, whenever there was a snowstorm, you'd take me
to Tao Ran Ting Park and take all kinds of pictures of me in the snow.
You often put me on the frozen lake, under the bridge, and took pictures at the
most risky spots. It might never have occurred to you that I could fall
into one of those ice holes. I can't tell you how many weekends we stayed
in that small room with dim red light to develop our black and white pictures
-- from getting the negatives to developing the paper pictures to putting the
pictures on a little machine to make them glossy. Even to this day, I
still remember the smell of the chemicals for developing pictures... Because of
your love for photography, I ended up with so many more childhood pictures than
any of my friends, and I have always been very proud of that!
3. Summer memories always lead me to the unforgettable swimming
lessons. We always went to the little muddy pond either at Tao Ran Ting
or Shi Sha Hai, and I received my first swimming lesson from you when I was
about 3 years old. It was scary as hell, but because you loved swimming
so much, you definitely wanted to be sure we'd all love swimming... Those
swimming sessions are as memorable as sitting in the small red room to develop
our pictures.
4. When I was about 10-11, I got sick very often and couldn't go to
school, so you ended up spending a lot of time with me at home during that
time. I remember you tried very hard to read those famous Chinese novels
to me -- Water Margin and Romances of the Three Kingdoms. I was not
particularly interested in those stories. But for some reason, you felt
it was very valuable for me to know them...
5. In my memory, you were such a great cook. Among other delicious foods
you made for us all the time, you made sure that every Chinese New Year's Eve
(especially the dinner) was important and special for us. So, Tang Ming
and I would go downstairs to play with our friends from the afternoon into
early evening. Then we must come home on time for the special
dinner. You'd always cook special dishes for us that night -- the
traditional southern Chinese foods, and you made sure we had fish at each
Chinese New Year's Eve dinner. This tradition lasted for many, many
years. After dinner, you'd turn on a high power light bulb and take
pictures of us inside the house. I was always fascinated by the fact that
you could take such sharp pictures at night... I learned then how important a
high power light bulb is for producing high quality pictures.
6. The night photo session during the National Day holiday was another
one of our family traditions. During the National Day holiday, when all
the lights were lit up on Tian An Men square, you'd take us there, by bike or
by bus, to take pictures. I was always scared of the crowds, but you
reassured me that everything would be fine. During each shot, I must stand
still (without any slight move) in order for you to take sharp
pictures...
7. As I grew older, you taught me one valuable lesson -- whenever
possible, travel around to see the outside world. You told me this at the
end of my high school years, and it had such a profound impact on my life even
to this day. I also made sure to take my little Michelle everywhere as
she grew up so she also got to see the "outside world."
8. Although you were not very much involved in my daily life when I was
little, you got more involved when I got into high school. You did not
want me to waste time on doing any housework. The only thing you wanted
me to do was to study. You'd carefully prepare every breakfast for me on
school days. You wanted to make sure that I ate well every morning before
going to school. During my college years, every weekend when I came home,
you'd cook my favorite special foods, then cook more for me to take back to
school for my friends.
Looking back, I have been in America for 27 years. Dad, I know clearly
that, over all these years, you have sacrificed tremendously to support me and
my family to have a successful life in this foreign country. I would not
have been who I am today without all the efforts you've made to help me in
every possible way you can. I truly understand the painful price you’ve
paid for us to have a better life. I will forever be thankful for
that!
I will never forget all the attention you've given to Michelle for the past 25
years -- you carefully planned many of her birthday parties, you took so many
wonderful pictures of her so we could all keep the sweet memories of baby
Michelle, you carefully labeled all her favorite toys and dated all her
pictures... For the 2 years when she was in China, you kept a detailed
notebook on all the important things she did every day. One year, on her
birthday, you bought a little cup for her. On the cup, there is a blue
sheep, a yellow cow, a red pig and two pieces of puffy clouds... She loved
it very much and still does after all these many years. When she went to
college, I told her the little cup must safely stay at home -- she
agreed. Even to this day, it is still sitting on her bedroom
dresser. Michelle knows clearly how much you love her, and she loves you
dearly as well. You've had a big influence on her young life, and she
will forever carry the memories of the wonderful time she spent with you and
Grandma during her childhood years.
In recent years, I have been thinking more about the definition of a
"successful life." One day, in our old age, we'd all look back
on life and ask ourselves -- have I lived a fulfilled life? What is a
"fulfilled and successful" life? To answer that question, I
would search my heart and soul to see if I've made an impact on the lives of
people I love. In your case, yes, you did make a significant impact on
our lives, and you've left a great legacy. That's the most important
thing for you to remember and be proud of.
Thank you for everything you've done for me, Dad. I love you, and always
will.
Tang Pei
