Tuesday, February 21, 2012

My Letter to Mom

February 22, 2012


Dear Mom,

It's been exactly one year since you left me.  I often see you in my dreams and I still feel your presence in my life.  Nothing seems to be able to fill your place in my heart, and no one seems to be able to offer the wisdom you had given me over the years...  I miss you dearly. 

I talk to my cousins in China regularly, and you are still the center of our conversations.  Over the past year, I have come to realize how much you influenced all of us and how much you'd left for us to learn and to reflect.  Michelle is doing very well in college and she continues to make every effort to make you proud.  I left Alere after 7 years and took a new job earlier this year.  It was a tough decision, but to a certain degree, I did it for you and Dad because I knew you'd always wanted me to advance in my career, and I knew you'd always wanted me to put my best effort in everything I do.

I continue to pursue my love in photography, and my photographs have been published in multiple Chinese magazines.  They have also won national honors and have been published in the international photography gallery.  I thought about you each time when my work was recognized, and I wish you could celebrate with me each and every little progress I make...  I would never forget how excited you were each time when I told you some good news -- sometimes you were more excited than I was.  In a way, I do believe that you are still looking over us, and we are making you smile.

The truth is, you will forever live in our hearts.  You made us wise and strong, and you made us always want to try harder and be better.  I love you deeply, Mom, and always will.

Your Little Tang Pei



亲爱的妈妈,

到今天为止,你已经离开我整整一年了。这一年里,我常常在梦中见到你,而且觉得你还在我的生活中。这一年里,似乎没有任何东西能填补你在我心中留下的空白,也没有任何人能像你过去那样为我点播智慧 我真的是很想念你。

我 现在还常给中国的表姐们打电话,而你却总还是我们谈论的中心话题。这一年来,我才意识到你对我们所有人有多大的影响,而且你为我们留下了多少值得学习和回 味的东西。阿宝在学校表现很好,她在尽最大的努力让你为她而骄傲。我今年初换了一个工作。做出这个决定并不容易,但从某种角度上讲,我也是为了你和爸爸才 做出的这个决定。我深知你们总希望我在事业上进取,你们也总希望我在做一切事情时都尽到我最大的努力。

我仍然在摄影上不断进取,而且我的作品已发表在几家中国杂志上。我的作品还在美国摄影协会获奖,并刊登在世界摄影画廊。每当我的作品得到摄影界的认可, 我总会想到你。我多希望你能和我一起庆祝我取得的每一点成绩 我永远不会忘记以往每当我告诉你一点好消息,你有多高兴,有时你会比我还激动。从某种角 度讲,我觉得你还在不断地观望着我们,而我们也在不断地为你带来微笑。

事实上,你会永远活在我们心中。你为我们带来智慧和坚韧,你让我们不断进取和完善。妈妈,我深深地爱你,而且会永远爱你。

你的小汤培

Sunday, February 19, 2012

4 Weeks Later...

I must say that the new job has been quite challenging and overwhelming.  It feels like all of a sudden, my vibrant, colorful life, along with my free spirit has been sucked into a deep, deep black hole...  I hate to admit that life in our 40s is not about venturing out to seek new challenges or reach new highs.  However, the truth is -- comfort, stability and familiarity with our surroundings has gradually become such a dominating factor of our overall happiness and well-being.  Yeah, in the end, a successful life should be measured by our own happiness, not by how we are perceived by others.

In early February, I had a chance to visit Death Valley National Park, the place I have always wanted to see.  Spent only 2 days there.  In photographic terms, I only had 1 sunset and 1 sunrise to capture nature's wonders.  

The night at Badwater was pretty dramatic, as I almost got lost in the massive salt-land under the moonlight -- under the moon, all you see is the blueish salt-land and dark mountains all around you...  The morning at Mesquite Sand Dunes was also risky, as I had to hike in the sand dunes before dawn to find the right angle of the sand dune before sunrise.

As much as I hate to take unnecessary risks, I found myself in very dangerous situations during the past several photography trips.  But when you think about it, life sometimes is all about venturing out and meeting the unknowns.  The more you venture out, the more you get to experience, and the more fully you live!
                    
                                    Badwater Sunset                                       Sunrise at Mesquite Sand Dune 
                                    February 4, 2012                                      February 5, 2012
 

Sunday, January 22, 2012

A New Beginning

Yeah, this is it - after 7 years.  Starting a new life tomorrow!!



From: Tang, Pei
Sent: Thursday, January 19, 2012 5:22 PM
To: Tang, Pei
Subject: My Farewell

Hello,

As some of you already know, I have decided to leave Alere to pursue other career opportunities.  My last day with Alere is Friday, 1/20/12.

It’s been my pleasure to work with you over the past many years.  Looking back, I am thankful for the opportunities to serve Alere and to work with a group of talented and dedicated people like you.  I am proud that together, we have accomplished so much and made significant contributions to the success of the company.

Please accept my sincere appreciation for your help and support over the past 7 years.  I wish you and Alere the best.

Pei


Friday, January 6, 2012

Sunset Spectacular

Do you remember how many times you’ve seen a spectacular sunset?  Maybe too many times to count, maybe so many times that you don't care to count anymore...  I view each sunset as an unique marker of my long journey of life, and thankfully, I still have the curiosity and the interest of trying to capture each and every one of them (when possible). 

The truth is, not a single photographer can recreate the beauty and mystery of Nature!  I told Michelle that I regretted deeply that I did not insist on taking her to see the sunset with me today...  My image is never good enough to bring back the true beauty for her to see and relive the moment. 

                              
Sunset Spectacular

Naperville, IL
January 6, 2012

Saturday, December 31, 2011

New Year's Eve reflection on "Zen"

Wonder:

Life is a marvel and a mystery.  To watch a sunset or the play of light on a leaf, to experience the taste of our food or the movements of our bodies is to be in the presence of a mystery.  Yet most of us have become so numb that we miss what is happening around and within us.

Every child is full of simple wonder.  How have we become so numb?  Part of this numbing is the result of having shut down from past psychological pain, and part is a function of the culture in which we live.  In our efforts to protect ourselves from physical and emotional pain, we shut down to life and shut out the wonder of it. 

Today we are bombarded with more information than we can possibly process.  We often must fit ourselves into someone else's schedule and are constantly rushing about, without taking the time to really experience our own bodies or life around us.  How marvelous to return to the simplicity of the child, to once again see and appreciate the joys and mysteries of this life.  The wonder is all around us.



Letting Go:

We can speak of letting go in two respects: letting go in the moment and a deeper letting go, or surrender, of the ego.  On a deeper level, letting go means releasing attachment to the ego.  The life of Zen requires giving up the notion that the desires of our egos will ever make us happy.  In Buddhism, cravings are considered to be the origin of all human suffering.

In truth, letting go of the ego and letting go of struggle are one and the same.  When we give up the struggle to prove that we are worthy of love or approval, the struggle to justify our existence, the struggle to hold onto limited benefits and concepts of how things should be -- we free ourselves to enjoy life as it is.



Mindfulness:

When asked, "What is Zen?" a master replied:  "Attention! Attention! Attention!" 

Mindfulness is nothing more or less than the practice of attention.  Zen wants us to wake from the sleepwalk of the routine and automatic -- to bring full attention to our walking and talking, hearing and breathing, eating and working, indeed, to every aspect of our lives.

Zen recognizes that awareness transforms experience.  There is no right or wrong way of doing things; there is only being more or less conscious.  In the practice of mindfulness, the goal is not to correct ourselves but to become more fully conscious of ourselves.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

All Too Human...

December 18, 2011


Dear Chelle-chelle,

If you wonder why sometimes you are so sentimental, stop wondering -- it's from your Mother!

Do you remember when we had our family vacation at Yosemite in the summer of 2004?  That's the first time we went to Reno and I had my job interview with Alere during that trip.  At Yosemite, I bought a CD album called "Acoustic Garden."  I loved it so much that when I first moved to Reno in the winter of 2004, I played that CD in my car every day.  It made me so sad every time I listened to it, as it brought me nothing but loneliness in the dark winter... Starting summer of 2005, I finally decided to stop listening to it because the sadness it brought to me was pretty enormous.

Well, seven years later, today, I am playing the CD again, and it made cry...  Once again, it brought me back to that dark winter when I did not know anyone in Reno.  Chelle, thinking back, I couldn't understand where I got the guts to go so far away for a job.  I don't regret it, but I have trouble understanding it.  Sometimes I love my fearless youth and my courage -- I just didn't realize how significant it was at the time. Think about it, Chelle, how on earth could I come to America all by myself in my early 20s?  What was I thinking?  I really, truly, literally gave up EVERYTHING I had back in China and came here from nowhere as nobody...

Chelle, sometimes it's "the road less traveled" that leads us to a whole new world.  Try to take that road when you are young, because as you grow older, you will have more concerns, more worries and more hesitation, which will undoubtedly limit your ability to charge ahead to reach your own special stars.

Maybe Mama is getting old!!  Tomorrow seems to be so challenging.  Taking a job 7 miles away from our house seems to be more difficult than going to Reno...  Well, for 20+ years working in this country, Alere is the place where I have worked the longest, so hope you understand the stress here.  Sometimes I tell myself to detach from everything, as I don't need all the baggage to drag me down.  However, sometimes I think because we are human, maybe it's okay to be sentimental, maybe it's okay to look back, stop and reflect, maybe it's okay to be sad and to cry...  Sometimes our emotions may enrich us and allow us to cherish every little stop on our journey.

Yeah, tomorrow, I will tell Alere that I am leaving...

Love,
Mom

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Steve Jobs (Legacy)

Yeah, I know it sounds crazy... but I did finish reading this book the 2nd time. It still has not changed my obsession about him!!  Here is Steve Jobs's legacy I extracted from the book.


Legacy
 
The Brightest Heaven of Invention
 
His personality was reflected in the products he created.  Just as the core of Apple’s philosophy, from the original Macintosh in 1984 to the iPad a generation later, was the end-to-end integration of hardware and software, so too was it the case of Steve Jobs:  His passion, perfectionism, demons, desires, artistry, devilry, and obsession for control were integrally connected to his approach to business and the products that resulted. 
 
The unified field theory that ties together Jobs’s personality and products begins with his most salient trait: his intensity.  This intensity encouraged a binary view of the world.  Colleagues referred to the hero/shithead dichotomy.  You were either one or the other, sometimes on the same day.  The same was true of products, ideas, even food:  Something was either “the best thing ever,” or it was shitty, brain-dead, inedible. 
 
His quest for perfection led to his compulsion for Apple to have end-to-end control of every product that it made.  He got hives, or worse, when contemplating great Apple software running on another company’s crappy hardware, and he likewise was allergic to the thought of unapproved apps or content polluting the perfection of an Apple device.  This ability to integrate hardware and software and content into one unified system enable him to impose simplicity.  The astronomer Johannes Kepler declared that “nature loves simplicity and unity.” So did Steve Jobs.
 
In the early 2000s Jobs’s insistence on end-to-end integration gave Apple an advantage in developing a digital hub strategy, which allowed your desktop computer to link seamlessly with a variety of portable devices.  This strategy worked.  In May 2000, Apple’s market value was one-twentieth that of Microsoft.  In May 2010 Apple surpassed Microsoft as the world’s most valuable technology company, and by September 2011 it was worth 70% more than Microsoft.
 
Jobs’s intensity was also evident in his ability to focus.  He would set priorities, aim his laser attention on them, and filter out distractions.  If something engaged him, he was relentless.  But if he did not want to deal with something – a legal annoyance, a business issue, his cancer diagnosis, a family tug – he would resolutely ignore it.  The focus allowed him to say no.
 
He attributed his ability to focus and his love of simplicity to his Zen training.  It honed his appreciation for intuition, showed him how to filter out anything that was distracting or unnecessary, and nurtured in him an aesthetic based on minimalism.
 
Unfortunately his Zen training never quite produced in him a Zen-like calm or inner serenity, and that too is part of his legacy.  He was often tightly coiled and impatient, traits he made no effort to hide.  Most people have a regulator between their mind and mouth that modulates their brutish sentiment and spikiest impulses.  Not Jobs.  He made a point of being brutally honest.  “My job is to say when something sucks rather than sugarcoat it,” he said.  This made him charismatic and inspiring, yet also, to use the technical term, an ass-hole at times.
 
Was he smart?  No, not exceptionally.  Instead, he was a genius.  His imaginative leaps were instinctive, unexpected, and at times magical.  He was, indeed, an example of what the mathematician Mark Kac called a magician genius, someone whose insights come out of the blue and require intuition more than mental processing power.
 
Steve Jobs thus became the greatest business executive of our era, the one most certain to be remembered a century from now.  History will place him in the pantheon right next to Edison and Ford.  More than anyone else of his time, he made products that were completely innovative, combining the power of poetry and processors.  With a ferocity that could make working with him as unsettling as it was inspiring, he also built the world’s most creative company.  And he was able to infuse into its DNA the design sensibilities, perfectionism, and imagination that make it likely to be, even decades from now, the company that thrives best at the intersection of artistry and technology.
 
 
Steve Job’s legacy in his own words…
 
My passion has been to build an enduring company where people were motivated to make great products.  Everything else was secondary.  Some people say, “give the customers what they want.”  But that’s not my approach.  Our job is to figure out what they’re going to want before they do.  Henry Ford once said, “If I’d asked customers what they wanted, they would have told me ‘A faster horse!’”  People don’t know what they want until you show it to them.  That’s why I never rely on market research.  Our task is to read things that are not yet on the page.
 
Edwin Land of Polaroid talked about the intersection of the humanity and science.  I like that intersection.  There’s something magical about that place.  There are a lot of people innovating, and that’s not the main distinction of my career.  The reason Apple resonates with people is that there’s a deep current of humanity in our innovation. 
 
It’s easy to throw stones at Microsoft.  They’ve clearly fallen from their dominance.  They have become mostly irrelevant.  And yet I appreciate what they did and how hard it was.  They were very good at the business side of things.  But they were never as ambitious product-wise as they should have been.  Microsoft never had the humanities and liberal arts in its DNA.  Even when they saw the Mac, they couldn’t copy it well.  They totally didn’t get it.
 
You always have to keep pushing to innovate.  Bob Dylan could have sung protest songs forever and probably made a lot of money, but he didn’t.  He had to move on, and when he did, by going electronic in 1965, he alienated a lot of people.  His 1966 Europe tour was his greatest.  The Beatles were the same way.  They kept evolving, moving, refining their art.  That’s what I’ve always tried to do – keep moving.  Otherwise, as Dylan says, if you are not busy being born, you’re busy dying.