The Tiger Mom

Thanks to the artist, the "Chinese Mother" has turned into a "Tiger Mom." 

Even though my little Michelle is turning 21 in June, I still constantly ask myself -- How would Michelle turn out had I taken a different parenting approach?! 

Found the following email from 5 years ago.  I am sure there are countless theories out there on parenting.  A good mother would be the one who understands the art of balance. 

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From: Pei Tang [mailto:tang_pei@yahoo.com]
Sent: Sunday, March 26, 2006 12:06 PM
To: Pei Tang
Subject: Being a Mom

Obviously, as you can tell, I am home.  If I ever read when I'm home, it's going to be about how to be a better mom... which I know deep in my heart that I am not.

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On Being a Mom
by Anna Quindlen

If not for the photographs, I might have a hard time believing they ever existed.

Raising children is presented at first as a true-false test, then becomes multiple choice, until finally, far along, you realize that it is an endless essay. No one knows anything. One child responds well to positive reinforcement, another can be managed only with a stern voice and a timeout.

Believe me, mistakes were made. They have all been enshrined in the Remember-When-Mom-Did-Hall-of-Fame. 

But the biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make while doing this. I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less. Even today I'm not sure what worked and what didn't, what was me and what was simply life. When they were very small, I suppose I thought someday they would become who they were because of what I'd done. Now I suspect they simply grew into their true selves because they demanded in a thousand ways that I back off and let them be (Well, I hope by demanding ten thousand ways that I back off and let her be, Michelle will turn out to be 100 times better than me... Pei ). The books said to be relaxed and I was often tense, matter-of-fact and I was sometimes over the top. And look how it all turned out. I wound up with the three people I like best in the world, who have done more than anyone to excavate my essential humanity. That's what the books never told me.