We
all need a "trigger event" to take a turn in our life-long journey.
For Patrick, reaching the summit of Mt. Kilimanjaro was the "trigger
event" that gave him a totally different perspective on life...
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March 10, 2015
By Patrick P. Started
After
nearly 7 years as CFO, I will be retiring from Google to spend more
time with my family. Yeah, I know you've heard that line before. We give
a lot to our jobs. I certainly did. And while I am not looking for
sympathy, I want to share my thought process because so many people
struggle to strike the right balance between work and personal life.
This
story starts last fall. A very early morning last September, after a
whole night of climbing, looking at the sunrise on top of Africa - Mt
Kilimanjaro. Tamar (my wife) and I were not only enjoying the summit,
but on such a clear day, we could see in the distance, the vast plain of
the Serengeti at our feet, and with it the calling of all the potential
adventures Africa has to offer. (see exhibit #1 - Tamar and I on Kili).
And
Tamar out of the blue said "Hey, why don't we just keep on going".
Let's explore Africa, and then turn east to make our way to India, it's
just next door, and we're here already. Then, we keep going; the
Himalayas, Everest, go to Bali, the Great Barrier Reef... Antarctica,
let's go see Antarctica!?" Little did she know, she was tempting fate.
I
remember telling Tamar a typical prudent CFO type response - I would
love to keep going, but we have to go back. It's not time yet, There is
still so much to do at Google, with my career, so many people counting
on me/us - Boards, Non Profits, etc
But
then she asked the killer question: So when is it going to be time? Our
time? My time? The questions just hung there in the cold morning
African air.
A
few weeks later, I was happy back at work, but could not shake away THE
question: When is it time for us to just keep going? And so began a
reflection on my/our life. Through numerous hours of cycling last fall
(my introvert happy place) I concluded on a few simple and self-evident
truths:
First,
The kids are gone. Two are in college, one graduated and in a start-up
in Africa. Beautiful young adults we are very proud of. Tamar honestly
deserves most of the credit here. She has done a marvelous job. Simply
marvelous. But the reality is that for Tamar and I, there will be no
more Cheerios encrusted minivan, night watch because of ear infections,
ice hockey rinks at 6:00am. Nobody is waiting for us/needing us.
Second,
I am completing this summer 25-30 years of nearly non-stop work
(depending on how you wish to cut the data). And being member of FWIO,
the noble Fraternity of Worldwide Insecure Over-achievers, it has been a
whirlwind of truly amazing experiences. But as I count it now, it has
also been a frenetic pace for about 1500 weeks now. Always on - even
when I was not supposed to be. Especially when I was not supposed to be.
And am guilty as charged - I love my job (still do), my colleagues, my
friends, the opportunities to lead and change the world.
Third,
this summer, Tamar and I will be celebrating our 25th anniversary. When
our kids are asked by their friends about the success of the longevity
of our marriage, they simply joke that Tamar and I have spent so little
time together that "it's really too early to tell" if our marriage will
in fact succeed.
If
they could only know how many great memories we already have together.
How many will you say? How long do you have? But one thing is for sure, I
want more. And she deserves more. Lots more.
Allow
me to spare you the rest of the truths. But the short answer is simply
that I could not find a good argument to tell Tamar we should wait any
longer for us to grab our backpacks and hit the road - celebrate our
last 25 years together by turning the page and enjoy a perfectly fine
mid life crisis full of bliss and beauty, and leave the door open to
serendipity for our next leadership opportunities, once our long list of
travels and adventures is exhausted.
Working
at Google is a privilege, nothing less. I have worked with the best of
the best, and know that I am leaving Google in great hands. I have made
so many friends at Google it's not funny. Larry, Sergey, Eric, thank you
for friendship. I am forever grateful for letting me be me, for your
trust, your warmth, your support, and for so much laughter through good
and not so good times.
To
be clear, I am still here. I wish to transition over the coming months
but only after we have found a new Googley CFO and help him/her through
an orderly transition, which will take some time.
In
the end, life is wonderful, but nonetheless a series of trade offs,
especially between business/professional endeavours and
family/community. And thankfully, I feel I’m at a point in my life where
I no longer have to have to make such tough choices anymore. And for
that I am truly grateful. Carpe Diem.
