The Zen weekend came and went, and I feel insanely great!!
As promised, the weekend started at 5PM on Friday and ended at 6AM this morning.
Saturday
morning was the most difficult. I got up at 6AM. Looking at my
laptops, iPhone and iPad, they were all laying there so quietly. My
white-silver iPhone-5s stared at me with its endless charm and innocent
beauty. I stared back at him
with deep affection, but didn't touch him. For about 30 minutes, I
felt very strange for not being able to watch the weather channel or to
check messages on my iPhone... I felt totally strange for being
disconnected, period! Nonetheless, I proceeded my morning with a strong
will.
Part
of my morning exercise routine was to take a long walk. On my way,
someone was having a garage sale. You would not believe how much space
she occupied for this "garage sale" -- in her garage, on her driveway
and spread out all the way over her lawn. I had a hard time to
comprehend why and how people can allow so much STUFF to clutter in
their lives!!!!
After
the morning walk, I immediately went to my basement and started my own
"clean-up." Those of you who have seen my basement, you know it
represents a clean, neat space with an overwhelming sense of
nothingness! I went into the storage section and looked very hard for
"stuff" to throw away... I
went through each neatly packed box one more time and finally concluded
-- there
is nothing for me to throw away! But guess what I
found in the process?? I found a copy of the diary I wrote for my
little
Michelle -- every day for 9 months + 21 days! I found 3 big binders of
my little Michelle's drawings at age 4, 5 and 7 -- the pictures she
drew and the notes she wrote to Mommy -- reflected nothing but
uncontrollable true love! I also found several precious homework books I
made for Michelle before she entered pre-school. They all have her
crooked little handwriting in it...
Wow,
let me tell you, it's absolutely frightening when I have too much free
time. All of a suddenly, my basement became a treasure island! How on
earth could I not keep all these pieces of history in our fire-proof
safety box???
.....
Sunday
was much better and more peaceful. My mind got used to not being
cluttered by "messages". Stop the inflow of information can really
allow you to feel and reflect deeper on the present. I read the book
《佛泽》again -- it's an
amazing book. I read it a few weeks ago when
I was in China. It talks about a famous, award-winning Chinese
photographer spending 9+ years in well-known Chinese Buddha's temples to
photograph life and virtue inside the temple -- it brings tremendous
calmness, clarity and purity to my mind!
I
have been thinking about the best places for this type of Zen retreat.
Yeah, it might be much easier to do it in Death Valley or northern
California National Seashore or Wisconsin Ice Caves, etc. because when
you're surrounded by an unfamiliar environment, your attention would
naturally be absorbed by new things. However, when you are at home and
surrounded by everything you know, it's far more difficult to change
your daily routine. So, for me, being able to turn off everything and
tasted a simple life in the way people lived 40 years ago, that was a
rather
interesting experience!
For those of you who can read
Chinese, attached are 2 pages of
my diary for Michelle.
Attachment 1 = Cover Page
Attachment 2 = The First Week
of May 1991 (what happened this week 23 years ago)
